Dad Jokes.Succeeding

mjennings
Community Contributor
102
13449

In the spirit of Grab the big shoes and pile into the car‌, I would like to continue your daily dose of laughter. We all know it is the best medicine and far to often we all take ourselves to serious. So this is the place were your next joke can be shared or found. I'll get us started once again.

Why don’t teddy bears ever really eat at their picnics? Because they’re already stuffed.
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Why did the balloon go near the needle? He wanted to be a pop star.
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Have you heard about the fire in the shoe factory? Hundreds of soles were lost!

Now it's your turn. Click that "Add a Comment" button and let's laugh together.

102 Comments
mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

On the ninth day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Contributor
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On the tenth day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Contributor
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On the eleventh day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Contributor
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On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

And finally, my gift to the community, by request of laurakgibbs‌, here they are in GIF format:

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mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I think I will slowly get over it.

Bobby2
Community Champion

 @rachael_donalds ‌ this conversation is made for you! 

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk but I never got the chants.

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

I really hate it when people ask me what I will be doing in a year. It not like I have 2020 vision. 

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

I love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.

kmeeusen
Community Champion

mjennings
Community Contributor
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 @kmeeusen , It might just be me, but I can't see the image you shared. 😞

mjennings
Community Contributor
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What did the dry erase marker say to the blackboard?

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Nothing! Dry erase markers don't chalk.

mjennings
Community Contributor
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mjennings
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mjennings
Community Contributor
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mjennings
Community Contributor
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mjennings
Community Contributor
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A little late for St. Patrick's day but here you go...

What's Irish and stays out all night? Patty O'furniture.
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When is an Irish potato NOT an Irish potato? When it is a French fry.
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How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? He's Dublin over with laughter.
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What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? A Jolly Green Giant.
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What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation? A lot of small talk.
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Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Because regular rocks are too heavy!
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Where would you find a leprechaun base ball team? In Little League.

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

Why is there music coming out of your printer? That will be the paper jamming again!

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

Why did they ask the turkey to join the band? He had the drum sticks.

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.

kmeeusen
Community Champion

Image may contain: one or more people and text

Bobby2
Community Champion

Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken!

bneporadny
Community Champion

See the source image

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

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jacobtowne7
Community Novice

Image result for phteven

mjennings
Community Contributor
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mjennings
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mjennings
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mjennings
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Best baby announcement ever!!

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

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kmeeusen
Community Champion

 @mjennings  

Perhaps not a Dad Joke, but it is funny and it is in keeping with the previous posting; and it includes a member of the Community Coaching Team that we all know and love (hint, the patriotic socks)...........

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God, he is so going to kill me for this!

Kelley

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

Tap, tap, tap..... Is this think on?

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mjennings
Community Contributor
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mjennings
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mjennings
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mjennings
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How do dolphins and whales pass down and share knowledge through the generations?
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Via podcasts, naturally.

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

My mom used to insist on feeding me alphabet soup because she said I liked it. I didn't, she was just putting words in my mouth and it gave me horrible vowel movements.

bneporadny
Community Champion

See the source image

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

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mjennings
Community Contributor
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A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit turns to the others and says, "I think I'm a typo."

mjennings
Community Contributor
Author

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Humor is good for the soul. Stay safe my friends. 

DeletedUser
Not applicable

Did you know the first fries were not cooked in France?

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They were cooked in Greece. 😏

DeletedUser
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I'd tell you a joke about construction...but I'm still working on it 😁

DeletedUser
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DeletedUser
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Why can't you ever trust an atom?

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Because they make everything up.

DeletedUser
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DeletedUser
Not applicable

If you're being chased by a bear, does that mean your running with a bare behind? 🤣

sorry, bad pun...........

BethCrook
Community Coach
Community Coach

"Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems."  (courtesy of my 10 year old son this morning)